| | Semagic 1.7.3.1U - jesuisgringoire @ livejournal.comsomething seems to be waking up. for several weeks I'd been feeling kind of without the Goddess for some reason. I'd still genuflect to my her icon but while doing so I'd be thinking "you might just be an archetype in my subconscious and not actually real" and so on. I'm not a stickler for orthodoxy and if I ever wonder if she's not real I'll talk to her about it, rather like talking to myself...she's inside me either way. over the last few days she's come back with gusto, though.
two nights ago I dreamed something about old indian (feather not dot) ladies...specifically about some sort of ancestor worship that involved a school trip and my large extended family (same relationship energy but not necessarily as waking life but not necessarily the same people attatched), and a cemetary and possibly some sort of mask. there was some sort of dispute but at the same time I was very seriously genuflecting before both her tomb and her image, and then suddenly grandmother was in the midst of us, and she was a matronly native american woman. possibly part of my developing family mythos of the first quakers on this continent and the my translator-patriarch's eloping with the lenape. it might've been his wife, mary, but I don't know. I'm inclined to think it was, because I just wrote out "first wife" instead of wife, for no reason at all, which if true could partially explain the confusion about her in the record, though so could racism. I don't know. ashe mama...
then, last night, I went to sleep, but got disturbed by a feeling of my literal, living paternal grandmother being there. she wasn't upset, but she was looking for me. I was more alarmed because she's supposed to be alive in pennsylvania than because she was there in general. I talked to whatever it was for a little bit and wished it well. I'm going to assume it wasn't her, since I'm also assuming I would've heard something by now if something had happened to her. it might've been her dreaming, too, I don't know. once I commended whatever it was to God (twice, once as an ancestor and once as a meddlesome spirit, both gestures of peace and good will, the later not necessarily something the recipient would want), it left me alone and I got to sleep.
however, once I was asleep I dreamed strange dreams. something about a massive storm on the horizon, watching it from a strange stylized version of my dorm room (non-uca specific). a wall of dark cloud from heaven to horizon, and lightning and thunder like nothing I've ever seen. (heh, when I write that a mournful, plaintive wail from Udit Narayan comes on in the random song that was playing, I have a coughing fit, and I come back to a song from a different movie, about awaiting the rain). either in that dream, or a different one, I kept dreaming of dreaming. in the dreams there was something there...something bothering people, and I was passionate and firery about dismissing it. I'm told I'm the least intimidating person my friends know, but when something like this comes on me I always feel like I could spit lightning...I felt energy racing over every pore and firm command backed with no small amount of threat as I demanded whatever it was go in the name of Goddess and God. come to think of it, there was authority in that relationship that I don't normally claim, priesthood perhaps. I don't know. still just dreams...I can't remember who I was protecting, but I think it might've been Sarah. not sure.
I went to bed thinking how I wanted to design a house, with a greenhouse and a porch with a double layer of pillars so it was a long shady outdoor room. I thought maybe take old tree stumps with twisting roots and use them as the capitals for the pillars.
something like this, smooth and fairly thin, with lots of twisting roots:
http://holamun2.com/files/images/attachments/2007/09/tree-stump.jpg
or maybe just an artistic immitation of the same.
http://www.simondale.net/house/
holy shit. look at the "how" section. it's straw bale construction, which I've wanted to learn for a while. it's also fucking beatiful and pretty much all of it is byproducts of forestry or agriculture. now I'm just going to have to find land in washington and figure out how one runs plumbing and wiring into them, though preferably the energy will also be sustainable and so on.
other things to think about: I want a greenhouse attatched. and possibly a sauna. hot tub is possible but a plain and simple sauna would do nicely. and compost toilets. how do environmentalists wash their clothes? stained glass and organic art-deco all over fo' sho. I want it to look like rachel carson read victor hugo before drawing up blueprints, and then tolkein had a bad curry and vomited all over them. that simile should probably have been illegal. japanese garden? definitely a forest garden/permaculture thing. and maybe a grove...*squee* it would be large-ish. living room, kitchen/dining room (though the greenhouse/porch/garden would be preferable for eating, and make composting easy), music room, and enough bed-space for a family and guests. maybe another room for crafts and music. at least one room open to a whole wall of windows facing the appropriate direction for plants. preferably with a nice view and no neighbors looking back inside from that direction. *squee* |
| | Posted 2/7/2009 6:33 PM - 22 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
